Monday, November 17, 2008

It’s time to move on

All this while, I’ve given myself very little opportunities to slow down my life, sparing little moment for a sensible judgment over my past and present deeds. Well, I could use no words other than guilty and immature to describe my feeling. So often have I neglected to be a selfless person, refusing to put necessary efforts into some areas of life, being so consciously unethical, and even forgotten at times of the sweat, blood, and tears that were splashed on me by my parents, and my brother.

My attitude towards my anticipated achievements in life, has been extremely unethical until I paid no effort to push myself forward. I’ve been stuck for a long time wandering around in uncertainties, and without significant purposes. I didn’t live with clear conscience. I felt like half-conscious, knowing what was going wrong but did not take initiative to better it. I knew I was stepping on the wrong edge and yet I didn't sway.

I won't let this last for long. At least, I’ve come to understand my overall situation by now and hopefully I do learn something from it. It’s time for me to let something go and move on again.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Unlucky

Sometimes it feels like I'm the unluckiest person in the world, that everything seems like not going my side, love, friendship, study, financial, family and so on. It's pathetic to think like enduring the world that barely listen to what my mind has to say, and doesn't seem like understanding my situation, nor putting down their sake just for the sake of my goodness. Haih... the feeling is indescribable and unavoidable and I believe many people have had endured it before.

But the truth is that I don't really need to make people around me to be in my shoes just to let them know exactly how I feel. Life is never fair, and I'm the decider of my own fortune. I'm the one who should think for myself, understand my own situation and make things right instead of adhering with those negative thinkings. It's easy to fall into negative areas of thoughts, by turning things into woe, hatred and other negativities. When my best friend turns against me, I give a final solution to myself by hating him. When I fail big tests in life, I choose a negative solution, by turning moody. These are all not necessary afterall.

Negative thoughts arise very easily if I don't control them well. Since I've chosen to be a more sensitve thinker, I need to avoid myself from turning into a full negative thinker. Despite of facing difficulties and unfairness, I need to remind myself everyday if I'm still doing things the right ways, standing on the right tracks, and not to do anything sorry to my parents, my family and my friends.
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From left - Mei Siew, Mr Bong, Edmund, Tze Teng, San Qun, Chong Wei

From left - Mei Siew, Mr Bong, Edmund, Tze Teng, San Qun, Chong Wei